Surface level, nah that’s not me. You know I gets deeper. Across the board. Deeper than your average…..that’s how I was bred.
Dame Amor. Dame Amor. Dame all of the love that I deserve for my self. All of the self-love that I desire, need and want.
In the words of Pato Banton,
“In the valley of decision, the ultimate choice is yours and mine
Whether we choose material darkness or spiritual light
You got to look
Deeper than the surface”.
Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts (D, Khoshaba, Psy.D, 2012).
Self-love is something in which our mind, bodies and souls need in order to provide us with the power to be ourselves, serve ourselves and prosper within our own light. It encompasses the epitome of treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you’d show that significant other that you’re absolutely in love with as we often give of ourselves to others before we do ourselves. Self-love is important to living well. It influences who you pick for a mate, the image you project at work, and how you cope with the problems in your life. It is so important to your welfare that it is essential that we bring more of it into our lives (www.psychologytoday.com).
Here are some ways in which we can love ourselves even deeper and a little more on the daily:
Firstly, start each day with gratitude and telling and immersing yourself with positive affirmations. Affirming and positive thoughts and cheers brighten and start your day off on a high note. We all love to be encouraged and cheered on! This is more than usually done by one person to another. Moving along these lines, we can and should be our own biggest cheerleader. Cheer yourself on with bells and whistles!! Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you achieve. Continue to see yourself via a positive lens and provide yourself with great affirmations and praise all day long. If you are struggling with seeing yourself through a positive lens, try seeing yourself through the eyes of someone who admires you. All that person sees is your true greatness and glory. So until you do, take a look at yourself from their perspective and cheer, cheer, cheer!!
You’re running late. Forgive yourself. You didn’t make it to the gym today. Forgive yourself. You spilled your coffee all over your desk. Forgive yourself. You weighed yourself in the morning and you gained 2 pounds. Forgive yourself. Forgiveness allows us to release feelings as opposed to hoarding them and allows us to move on from the matter at hand. It puts us on a healthy path to move forward, allowing us to acknowledge the wound and process our emotions in non-hurtful ways. Allow yourself to be human, to make mistakes and learn from them. Knowing that as humans we are not perfect, nor should we be expected to act flawlessly. Speak forgiving words to yourself and your heart to move towards loving the small hiccups of yourself within your day.
Give an ear to yourself. Drown out all of the other voices, including that negative voice of yours. Having an open, curious and non-judging attitude towards what your body and mind are asking of you is key. How would you know what your body needs if you do not listen?? Slow down, listen intently and make moves towards providing yourself with what YOU need.
We all need something, right? We all definitely want things, right? It is our duty to provide ourselves with everything that we need and some of want we want, in healthy doses of course. Listening to yourself allows you to hear what your body needs and wants, therefore, allowing you to provide for it. try to let yourself celebrate without allowing guilt to overtake you. You can eat that piece of German chocolate cake after a week of eating healthy. You can go out after a hard day of work. Or, you can have a Netflix marathon after a hard day at work. If you view it as striking up a good balance, then you will enjoy the reward that much more as you release those negative feelings. Love yourself by balancing your hard work and dedication with fulfilling, enjoyable rewards (Patricia Martin, 2018).
Intentionally, that is. Live with purpose and design. If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose. You will love yourself more if you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to do. Think about what makes you “live” each day and do just that! Take the time to “live” each day of your life as we only get to live that very day, once.
”When we are happy in love with ourselves, we can’t be bothered with the bull (our own or other people’s)” ~ Jen Sincero
Aligned with the things that have supported me in my personal journey, Mind, Body, Green, suggests some direct Self-Love “lovings” in which you can implement everyday:
1. Give yourself a pat on the back for all your little accomplishments….YOU deserve it!!
2. Stop judging or comparing your present self to your past self.
3. Forgive yourself for things you have done in the past. You did the best you could at the time.
4. Learn about how to treat your body well and give it only the best.
5. Listen to your body and honor its subtle requests – i.e., hunger, satiety, fatigue, sickness.
6. Exercise daily. Every little bit counts.
7. Tune in to your creativity by journaling, singing, dancing, art, etc.
8. Read things that spark your creativity or inspire you.
9. Treat yourself to at-home spa treatments like dry brushing, DIY face and hair masks, self massage, etc.
10. Stop terrorizing your mind by worrying about things that haven’t, and may never, happen.
11. De-clutter your surroundings.
12. Surround yourself with positive people and let them help you along the way.
13. Take five minutes of quiet time each day to just float in the stillness.
14. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and stop playing the victim. You're giving your power away.
15. Practice positive affirmations and mirror work daily!
“There is no one better to fall in love with than yourself.”
Love is Deep, Even Deeper when we love on ourselves. Incorporating any or all of these bits of self-love on a daily basis moves us closer towards accepting and loving ourselves more. You being to appreciate you more. You begin to do for you more. You LOVE YOU more. And in order to love anyone else, we must first love ourselves. LOVE YOU FIRST, all of course while being,
Unapologetically Me. Unapologetically You. Unapologetically Us.
Shop the Look:
Please click on the images below to shop some pieced in my outfit. My cape is a thrift find, therefore it is not available. I am thinking there aren’t many exact ones out there in the market. Although this is the case, have included a few ponchos and printed tops at different price points!
Please do not forget to tag me and hashtag #inspiredbynova if you purchase any items from my look! OR are inspired by me in any way!!
Happy Shopping!! :D